He Walks, She Rocks

As many who will read this know, this journey on the Bruce Trail is not the first long walk I have done. Last year I did the 900km Camino de Santiago in Spain.  Although I would see many other pilgrims throughout the day, primarily I walked alone. Which meant I had lots of time to think. One thing I spent considerable time thinking about was family.

four special ladies: my Baba Mary, niece Claire, sister Kelly and Mom Helene (Penny)

My Mom was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in the late 1970s, only a few years after I was born. Growing up, I didn’t really have a concept of what MS was, other than sometimes Mom just seemed really tired (and I should try to help out more around the house). It wasn’t until more recently that I fully understood the implications of the disease and how it would progress over time.

Mom lives in Saskatchewan and I now live in Toronto. Because of the distance we only get to see each other a few times a year.  Over the past 6-7 years I have noticed that almost every time we get together, MS has taken a little bit more of her mobility. This was on my mind as I walked under the hot Spanish sun last summer. I wanted to do something to help. I wanted to use something more than words to show Mom that I care. That is when the concept of a long walk for MS was first born.

One of the things I admire most about my Mom is how she carries herself with strength and dignity.  It would be easy for someone in her position to play the role of the victim. To constantly dwell in a ‘why me?’ stasis. To allow a weakness in the limbs to cause a weakness of spirit. But she (like many other people I have met with MS on this journey) doesn’t do that. I think her attitude can be summed up in the well known ’serenity prayer’:

“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”

I have my hard times out here on the Trail. When I’m tired and looking up at yet another hill to climb, or when my feet ache from a long trudge on unforgiving ashphalt.  But when I’m feeling down, I think about my Mom. She inspires me. Perspective elevates and energy returns.

On Mother’s Day, and every day on this journey, I walk for her.

During this journey of walking the Bruce Trail for MS, it has been interesting to see how certain themes emerge out of experiences I am having. One of the most striking and affirming themes so far has been kindness.

I came across another walker yesterday who started in Hamilton and will reach Tobermory about the same time I will. It was so nice to have those conversations you can only have with somebody who is going through the same things you are (blisters, what to pack, lessons learned, etc). One thing he’s noted is how food tastes so much better after a day of hard walking. I agree, but I also feel the same way about acts of kindness.

This trip was never supposed to be about me simply walking in the woods for a month or Bri-anne playing a few shows. It was meant to involve and touch as many people as possible. Since we started planning He Walks, She Rocks, people have stepped up to help; and since starting to walk this generosity has only increased. Over the past two weeks people have opened their homes to us, driven me to and from the trail, organized events, found us media coverage, fed us, met me on the trail, walked with me, and even washed my stinky hiking clothes…never mind all the words of encouragement that have come in online and over the phone!

There is just something about an act of kindness after a long day on the trail – when your body is tired and your feet ache – that means so much. This kindness has come from people we know, but also people who just heard about what we are doing and wanted to help out. For example, one of the great joys so far has been getting to know new friends like Bob and Mabel from Burlington who have been so helpful and generous.

I don’t know what challenges are around the next corner, but I feel encouraged by knowing that despite the perceived cynicism in the world, kindness still flows in abundance.

The Dalai Lama says:

My religion is simple. My religion is kindness.

That sounds pretty good to me.